Things you'll discover mid-bulk

I've been bulking for a good year and a bit now and there's a few things I've learned along the way. There's also a few things I'm still learning now, and I'm pretty sure they'll be more to come. Some good, some bad; Below are a list of things that'll no doubt come up on your quest for size and strength: 

Disbelief

'Woa man, are you on steroids?'. This is a flattering comment you'll receive for the first 4-6 months of your bulk while you still retain your original shape (you just kinda widen out). You'll get this especially from friends and family that you don't see too often, and it's a definite morale booster. 

Fortunately, this is because most people haven't heard of bulking and strength training so this is either some bizarre voodoo shit or drugs as far as they're concerned. Obviously salads, chicken breast and protein shake are what get you huge, along with 5 arm days a week and texting and tinkering with your ipod every 5 seconds. Bro science eh.

'sup.

Well at least you're training and eating the proper way, so keep at it and make the most of the compliments while they last, you'll probably lose your well defined shape soon enough. Speaking of which...

Clothing

Considering I'm on a student budget, I definitely learned this the hard way. Basically, don't go buying new clothes right away, and if you do, buy cheap shit that's preferably a size too big so it'll last. I've genuinely given up on the concept of denim and just stick to joggers always. 

The inner leg of jeans are too small, especially now there's that god awful skinny jeans fashion going round. I've gotta buy (fucking REGULAR, not skinny) jeans 4-6 inches bigger on the waist just to get them around the top of my legs, and even then they're still uncomfortable as fuck. I think I have one 44 inch pair of jeans ready on standby in case I'm going out with the lads, but other than that I'd rather stick with cotton joggers and shorts in typical campus fashion.

Stretch Marks

Yeah they happen. At first I wasn't happy at all, but eventually I just stopped caring. It's all about how much your care for your aesthetic look, and coming from a former scene kid dedicated to his image, even for me that care amounts to a big fuck all. I've got them all down my biceps and on my lower back, and they're real unsightly but whatevs.

Clumsiness

Funnily enough I've not sat behind the wheel since my epic quest for size began, but I have been a passenger in a relatively small car and it's inevitable your fat ass or legs move the gear stick by accident. Trying to squeeze through gaps you once so easily conquered or thinking that sweet hedge gap across the road looks awesome will definitely end in failure.

Because you've undergone such a dramatic change in shape and size, body parts flail all over the place and you'll find yourself bumping into things left, right and centre. It sounds dumb but it took me a fair while to figure out why I was having so many accidents at work until someone pointed it out to me, I hadn't yet got fully accustomed to my new body!

Maneuverability

Or more specifically; Shitting. You will do it a lot. Like minimum twice a day, and you kinda look forward to it cos you know you can get more food down you pretty much straight after. Also, you've gotta develop a new wiping technique as your glutes and lats will kill nearly almost constantly. An improvised re-evaluation will be in check when the time is right, no doubt.

100% accurate depiction of my poop.

That's pretty much it for the time being. If this sounds like 'the cons of strength' training it wasn't meant to, it's definitely not a moan, just a few musings of mine on my road to getting stronger.


Anyway, Jake's back off his gym hiatus so hopefully will be getting some training videos in soon (he won't mind!). 3 more weeks til heavy week again, I'd like to get my PBs recorded and documented, as well as my form judged by anyone who fancies taking a stab. 

Thanks for reading my second 'article' thing.